Fight With Your Own Demons

Right.

I know.

It's surprising right?

I manage to write here again. Yesterday I was here, same goes for today. There's one thing that was in my mind for a long time and I really want to do it. I think. I really want to quit my job and start with my full-time study. How I wish someone would ask me what I really want to do in my life. But, there's none. Previously, I really want to pursue my studies and took IT or anything that is related to technology and computer. But there's something that stopping me to continue what I want to do. I know I can't blame them. I should have be brave and stand with my own words. Too bad that I cannot undo that anymore. It was hurt and painful, until now.

It feels like I've created a war in my own life by letting people to decide. But in my defence, I just want people around me to be happy. Because I know, whatever that come from their mouth, I understand that is something that they expect from us. But, it was kinda frustrated that they didn't ask or say, just do whatever you want to do, you will have my support forever. 

Never.

But I know I can’t blame them. I was the one who agreed to do that at the first place after all. But now, can I just do what I want? I really want to pursue my study in full-time. I want to experience it, again :(

Can anyone who read this and tell my family what I want? I'm just not strong enough to face and tell them. 

Hurm.

Gotta go now, see you guys again.