Fight With Your Own Demons

Right.

I know.

It's surprising right?

I manage to write here again. Yesterday I was here, same goes for today. There's one thing that was in my mind for a long time and I really want to do it. I think. I really want to quit my job and start with my full-time study. How I wish someone would ask me what I really want to do in my life. But, there's none. Previously, I really want to pursue my studies and took IT or anything that is related to technology and computer. But there's something that stopping me to continue what I want to do. I know I can't blame them. I should have be brave and stand with my own words. Too bad that I cannot undo that anymore. It was hurt and painful, until now.

It feels like I've created a war in my own life by letting people to decide. But in my defence, I just want people around me to be happy. Because I know, whatever that come from their mouth, I understand that is something that they expect from us. But, it was kinda frustrated that they didn't ask or say, just do whatever you want to do, you will have my support forever. 

Never.

But I know I can’t blame them. I was the one who agreed to do that at the first place after all. But now, can I just do what I want? I really want to pursue my study in full-time. I want to experience it, again :(

Can anyone who read this and tell my family what I want? I'm just not strong enough to face and tell them. 

Hurm.

Gotta go now, see you guys again.

Looking Forward

Annyeong!

How are you guys?

Hopefully siapa yang baca ni is doing well and I doakan everything that you do will be blessed. It was a sunny day and bright the moment when I type this. It feel good to be able to see people around me are having a good time with their love ones. While me sitting at the corner of this cafe and surround myself with books and some good song from Kim Hyun Joong. Heee, sounds too bad ey? But it's okay, memang I choose to sit alone because bukan Syaza laa kalau dia tak jadi lone ranger.

Doakan je laa aku tak kena halau duduk kat sini sebab dari pukul 11.30 pagi kat sini and the moment when I type this blog it's reaching 3.00 pm. Lama tak lamalah kan duduk kat sini. Orang lain duk sibuk pergi dating, enjoy themselves at the mall but I rather stay here alone melayan diri. But aku takdelah bosan sebab dah cari aktiviti baru which is to learn Hangul language. Ape tu? Siapa pernah dengar? Tak pernah? Haaa, bahasa mudah tengah belajar bahasa Korea sekarang ni. Kenapa tetiba?

Sebab Kim Hyun Joong! Hahahaha, my love for him will never fade away. Memang obviously I like him since the day I watch Boys Over Flower and also Playful Kiss. So right now since I have found his official channel dekat Youtube and IG, my stalker mode dah activated ape lagi. But right now just tengah marathon his song and also some video he posted. And yes, because of him I want to understand and learn Korean's language sebab nak faham lagu yang dia nyanyi tu laa. Is it a good thing? I'm not sure but I just don't care, hahahaha. At least duk mengisi masa kosong malam-malam sebab I tak text with anyone and basically kalau I do my reading pun, only selected book je yang masuk dalam list untuk baca. Other than that, I think I will sleep early. Tapi patut tidur jelah pun kalau dah takde benda nak buat. 

Taoi rasa macam teruk laa pulak cycle kalau macam tu je, I mean siang pergi kerja. Sampai rumah pukul 7.50 malam and then Isyak makan apa semua dah pukul 9 malam. tapi ada je certain day pukul 10 aku dah tidur dah, nikmat betul rasa hahahaha. Mentang-mentang takde komitmen dengan sesiapa kan, ikut suka aku je. Life is good so far, alhamdulillah.

Oh, I gotta go. Just received a text Naura is at home. See you again people!