Day 1 of 365 Days

Page 1 of 365 days.

Last year was bitter. Too much bitter that I forgot to taste the sweetness of life.  All the drama, the painful, tears, stressful, not knowing the exact things that I want in my life suddenly. I admit that it happens when I changed my job. Not saying that it was the bad decision that I’ve ever made. But I know everything happens for a reason.

I know 2018 was a learning process for me. I learn to know myself, to love myself and to care myself more. Now I know how to handle myself when I’m at the weakest point of life. Not literally I know, but as long I still have Him. I know I can survive. When things turn out to be like this, I decided to keep my circle very small few months back. From sharing my stories to some of my friends, I just let only one or two person to know about it.

I lose my self-confidence, I’m even more afraid to talk to people; I became super introvert that I just keep myself alone in the room. Being lonely has become so much addicted to me and I just enjoy myself.

I didn’t realize when this happen to me, not specifically but one thing for sure right after my birthday and after my little sister went back to Ireland. Everything seems to be complicated after that.

But I’m so thankful that Allah sent me some of my good friends to be there for me. One of them who is staying far away from me yet so close in my heart. The friendship that we have for almost 13 years makes it easy for me to talk to you every single day. Thank you my Angel for be there for me no matter whatever it is. If you ever read this one day, just so you know that I’m very glad to know you and to have you, as my best friend whom I know will never judge me with my stories. The one that I know will say the truth even it is painful to know.  Thank you, my dear best friend.

He also sent me this one good friend of mine whom I will never forget his kindness and his time for me. The one that helped me a lot to distract myself from thinking too much, well I do think a lot of unnecessary things (my bad, I know!). So he drag me out, we went out for movies, lunch, we went to stadium to watch football, he accompanied me to hang out with my staffs, he accompanied me to meet my ex when he was hospitalized, he sent me some sweets at home, but the one that I liked the most is he listened to every single story that I share. Yes, I have too much story that I can share to anyone that is very close to me but only the people that I choose to share. He helped me out with every single thing.

Dear you, I’m sorry that I won’t be able to mention your name here. But I will still wrote about you just to let people know that you are very kind to me and I believe to everyone around you as well. Thank you for being my true friend. Thank you for being there through my ups and down. I will always keep you in my prayer, insyaAllah.

Alhamdulillah, for this New Year, I’ve got myself with a very good news that I always dream of. Which is to work in my dream company, which I think I have applied for it for almost two years. It just came in the right time. I hope, everything will be fine and smooth for me for this year.

And hopefully I will have more time to at least share some of important moment here. Let’s hope for that, shall we?

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim, 2019.